I found this old post that I removed from the internet several months ago on a CD containing a lot of my former works that expounded on the raw emotional insights of my life. I wrote it at the end of Thanksgiving Break ’07 and I have, since, found a small sense of self motivation that helps me keep going. (Mild use of highly vulgar language within.)

During break, I took the time to understand why I’m not doing well in school. Since school began, I’ve found that I have no standard for self-motivation. This lacking sector therefore has caused quite a bit of strife in my life. So I went in search of a solution for my problem.

Quite frankly, the problem I found is I lack any reason to give a fuck about anything related to myself if another is not getting anything from it. Now I’m not saying I’m a selfless person, because that’s not true, I achieve my highest potential when acting in a selfless regard by which I normally benefit from the action itself. I find that I’m am merely a mediocre being with the potentiality to achieve above most peoples standards if I choose to. This brings forth my dilemma, I don’t give a fuck about achieving anything if I don’t feel it helps someone other than me.

It’s been this way for years I was merely mediocre in high school only achieving about a 3.0 on average. However, when it came to achieving for the chance to please another I was capable to achieve almost a 4.0, if only to prove myself to another I expressed my potential. I have adopted this methodology once again in an attempt to try and achieve more than merely mediocre. The problem in doing this is that I now have no one in which I would wish to prove myself to, no reason to achieve above mediocrity for.

I have turned to an unlikely source for motivation my ex. The reason I have chosen her is because she is the only thing that I ever wished to achieve anything for. The problem is I understand that I have about a 0% chance of ever re-achieving anything with her. I fail to want to prove to her knowing this. However, with nowhere else to turn I shall turn to the one source of past inspiration for the future inspiration of my
life fleeing from mediocrity.

The realization that everything that I seek means nothing to me in any sense. I am not worried about money, except to live from, I seek no indulgences outside my personal vices which I have begun to abstain from. I feel that everything shall fall together as it may and I really have no reason to try and influence the cosmos’ actions to affect myself. I seek no reason for life, life is what it is there shall be no reason in seeking the unseekable, I shall just live it.

The realization that one shall not try to change another’ view of life unless it would be beneficial to the other party to see life as something else. The influence one has on others should provide a more meaningful presence or essence to that persons life.

The realization that I have no reason to worry about anything no reason to wonder what could happen, just wait to see what will. I mean if you were to worry yourself with the wonder you will have wasted the time you could have been experiencing what happened or enjoying something else while waiting.

“Memories are nothing, Memories are everything, Memories are what was and will be.”

(I wrestled with the posting of this article, even though this is the story of one of the most defining moments in my life. I hope his wisdom will spark your ambition also.)

I’ll begin with who I used to be. I was a geeky kid who had a hard time socially, who was slowly devoured by his pain. His pain led him into a world that was self-centered and effortlessly anti-social. He desperately wanted to be like the other kids, but feared giving a bit of himself away and of rejection. So for years he stayed in his head and remained seperated from the people in the physical world that surrounded him.

This all changed with an inspirational story about someone close to me. It was the telling of my cousin’s life, he died at the age of five, yet he held the wisdom and heart of a man. He was born with a disorder that caused deformation of the majority of his organs, extreme pressure on his brain, and an enlarged tongue. Even facing such hardships, he was always filled with hope, happiness and courage. When people told him he couldn’t do something, either because they felt he wasn’t capable or just worried about his safety; he would prove them wrong by atleast attempting to accomplish that which they said he could not. The boy understood more about life than most people ever do.

Knowing that someone this young and in his state had the courage and hope to take what people told him and go in the face of it, changed my life for the better. I found that trying to open up to others was better than not trying at all, that the world doesn’t revolve around me (or you), but by people caring for others. I realized I was a nobody that was currently headed to nowhere and I needed to change. i found the person I am seeking to be today, the person I wish I would have known so long ago. I found the person who is helpful to those who seek it and even those who do not. I found a person who no longer fears his emotions and rejection, but lives with what he gets. A person who knows he finds happiness by helping others. A person who lets others get know him and who he is as that person. A person who will try his best to get were he plans to be and plans to be trying his best once he gets there. Thus,  my life as it is now can be defined by my cousin’s death, an event I will never forget.

With the depression looming I decided that everyone needs to have some positive inspiration provided daily. So I began posting aphorisms, proverbs and quotes, a few from me. I know some people aren’t on Twitter that read this blog so I felt I should aggregate, latest first, them here.

“Nature never appeals to intelligence until habit and instinct are useless. There is no intelligence. Where there is no change and no need of change.” ~ H.G. Wells

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” ~ Plato Do what you want but, don’t let fear stop you from starting now.

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible — and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone just remember that all the people in the world haven’t had the advantages you’ve had.” ~ Gatsby

“There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are powerless to alter our destiny.” ~ Steven Pressfield

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Don’t give up when you still have something left to give, Nothing is really over . . . till the moment you stop trying.” ~ Anonymous

“You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” ~Zig Ziglar

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.” ~ Buddha

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.” ~Anonymous

Its hard for many people to believe that there are extraordinary things inside themselves as well as others I hope you can keep an open mind

“An efficient and valuable man does what he can, whether the community pay him for it or not.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Every organization must be prepared to abandon everything it does to survive in the future.” ~ Peter Drucker

“Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you reach the top, keep climbing.” Enjoy the day. Keep reaching for the elusive fruit of success even after you grasp it in hand.

“Don’t worry about what anybody else is going to do. The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” ~ Alan Kay

“May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect.” ~ Fight Club

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”~ Confucius Everyone, let’s rise from this stumble.

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” ~Winston Churchill

“Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a butterfly can change the weather on the other side of the world with a beat of it’s wings; why can’t you change your neighborhood

Our nature is to surround ourselves with those that bare semblance with us and, through them we can see our imperfections.

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.” ~ Robert Heinlein

“Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery.” ~ Bertrand Russell

“It’s only after you’ve lost everything that your free to do anything.” ~ Tyler Durden

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~ Lao Tzu

“The fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of having not lived authentically or fully.” – Frances Moore Lappe

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible and achieve it, generation after generation.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

“When the Power of Love Overcomes the Love of Power the World Will Know Peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix

A mans wealth comes not from what he carries in his wallet, but what he carries in his heart. Have a great day everyone!

“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.” ~ Dalai Lama

The world is still colorful, even though the news may be gray. Hope, everyone enjoys their day.

If you like these and would would like to get them every day add me on Twitter: @jimminy.