Sleep Well Little Dog

I hate to do this, as it is a negation of my willing absence here. But it is a meaningful moment, that echoes through my body at the moment. It is a need that I must fill for selfish reasons. I’m emotionally empty, and drained but I the tears and the staggered breaths will not end.

Tuesday, February 18th, 2014: About 11PM our dog fell down the open stair into the basement. We don’t know what she was doing that caused her to fall, nobody was downstairs. She didn’t so much as let a single noise out, just a series of loud thumps like someone threw a log down the stairs. When we brought her up stairs, she was dazed for about 10 minutes. We took her to the vet the following day, because there was blood in her urine. All tests came back fine, just some bruised tissue in her hind legs.

Thursday, February 20th, 2014: She was still alive and seemingly on the mend, though still quite and stiff. She went down stairs after I left, and my parents couldn’t find her for a while. My stepfather brought her upstairs and she was week, and laid on the couch with him for a few hours. About 2:30PM she evacuated her bladder, beside him; almost undoubtedly this was the moment she passed, in her sleep and without suffering. He picked her limp body up, and took her to the vet where they massaged her heart and gave her a shot of adrenaline, but it was too late by then. So he asked them to do an autopsy to see what caused it. She had bruised tissue on her kidneys, bladder, and hind legs, but the cause appears to have been a bloodclot that passed to her heart.

(sorry for editting after this, I can’t see through the tears that have overwhelmed my eyes)

When I first saw her, I was disappointed, we already had dogs, and I didn’t feel we needed anymore. It was the day I came home from college, my mother had brought her along, cause she didn’t have anyone to watch her. She was just a little white fluffball, with a mean streak. She was so energetic, though less so recently as she aged. After a bath she would run up and down the halls, and jump on my bed, where I’d catch her in the blankets, and she’d nip at my hands. I’d be acting like there was another dog nipping at her and she’d nip right back, then I’d uncover her and she’d jump right at me and give me kisses.

She was a perfect dog, energetic, but not exhaustingly sow, playful but not mean, though she was constantly growling at any noise she heard. It’s going to be much too quite with her gone. And I’m going to miss her comfort, whenever someone passed away or I was too stressed by the situations around me, I’d grab her and cuddle. Just another heartbeat close to mine. She was the sanity I needed when I no longer had sanity myself. She would be my comfort in times such as these, so now this moment is the most uncomfortable I’ve had in a long time.

She will be missed, and I knew I loved her without letting her go. It was much too soon, she was only 6. And that it was an accident hurts, one that we don’t know what happened, more than anything.

Rest in Peace Curly Sue. Rest in Peace. March 2008 – February 20th, 2014

P.S. – In regard to my absence, I had planned to move the blog, but I’ve just haven’t had time. And when I’ve wanted to post, it’s mostly been negative points, such as this, which isn’t what I wanted to aim for. It was always meant to be a point of philosophy, growth, and optimism. Sadly, this post was too much and I needed to share, for my own posterity.

Relationship Tectonics

I mostly secluded myself for a month or so towards the beginning of the year, and have yet to fully unravel from that. What I have noticed is when I did start it though, there was a very distinct shift in the relationships I have. For years, my closest friends have existed on the other side of a monitor for the most part. As I’ve come back to the social world, I’ve reconnected with old friends and acquaintances¬† that I hadn’t spoken to in at least a half-dozen years.

This shift is interesting to me, and something else I noticed is the network of how I discovered people. Most of the people I know stem from a few choices I made years ago: joining Triiibes in ’08 led to joining Twitter and Ustream in ’08, which eventually led to numerous friendships spawned by mutual relations. Some of those people have remained close, and will remain close, even as things shift about; others drift out of sight.

Unfortunately, the biggest effect that I’ve noticed in the wake of my seclusion is that I became somewhat colder to those I continue to interact with. Even when I absolutely adore them, I just don’t feel that I can positively reach out to them. Sometimes it’s just that I don’t know how anymore. I feel I’ve forgotten part of what made it special, and yet I’ll never forget them.

So if you’re reading this and feel that we haven’t spoken in a while or that I haven’t been as positive as you wish; I do apologize, and do know that I still care. I am currently making some personal changes that will continue to make it hard for me to be more open, or even as open as I once was. I needed to get this off my chest, as the weight of feeling this way was one of the hindrances standing in my way of being more open.

Reframing Ideas

One of the greatest techniques for advancing thought has been an ability to reframe ideas. When you can change the problem, or sculpt a new solution with a different understanding, you have an advantage.  And there are more than just a few ways to reframe ideas, from inversion to analogy.

Inversion
Reframing by Inversion is one of my personal favorites because it’s so simple. If you can look at the negatives you can look at the positives; if you can start with a problem, what about starting with an answer. Inversion allows you to quickly expand your perspectives in ways that can show openings. Pivoting the thought process allows some drastic changes. Or it can ease stresses when used for comparative value.

Scope Selection
Reframing by Scope Selection is taking the idea and expanding it to some extreme or shrinking it to others. Think about how it could be applied if some constraint was raised, and what avenues that that may open. Or you can think about how simple you can make something, that still does what you want.

This kind of reframing can be used to increase productivity or target forward thought. If you can simplify the implementation details, you can save time, even if it took a little longer in thinking about the initial process. And if you think about expanding the concept and those avenues, you can project paths forward.

Analogy
Reframing by Analogy is taking the idea and viewing through a completely different lens. It’s like taking an item and representing it as both a 3D object and a split projection draft. They are the same conceptually, but provide very different observations. Analogy also provides a great way for making conversation move a bit more fluidly by providing terms others may understand.

Ultimately, all of these examples of reframing allow changing the perspective in a way that allows growth. And sometimes a new viewpoint is all that is necessary for brilliance to be achieved. Just because something works, doesn’t make it right. And just because somethings right, doesn’t mean it will work. But there are times when you can take chances and see if it will. Play with the concepts. Maybe you’re working at a higher or lower level than necessary.

Loose Thoughts On Technology

Sometimes I wonder what the point of technology is anymore. All of our basic functionality needs have been met, or at least mostly so. At this point, we have begun trading privacy for minor improvements. I’ve already talked about my Luddian emotions, but it seems that a growing group of people are becoming more perturbed by the audaciousness of companies like Google and Facebook.

I already have issues with phones, but that’s a personal choice, Google Glass is a precursor to a much wider spread issue in which individuals may lose their choice. I just wonder what we’re doing to ourselves, when technology provides only minor benefit but can have such a negative impact to privacy. Maybe we’ll adapt to it as we have other things in the past, but there are questions to ask. Should we accept these tools and what are the responsibilities of the users?

Should we accept the tools? I’m not saying we shouldn’t, but to me they personally don’t make sense. I find them to be a bit tacky, as I prefer life to be more simplified. Maybe others will accept them, but the decisions need to be made. I can’t possibly lay out all the responsibilities, because there are more than one technologies to talk about.

Also let’s talk about reliance on things that we don’t control. We’ve recently seen Google close Reader and it’s had a pretty large backlash, but nothing to be said from inside. You can no longer rely on these technologies, and if it breaks you very well may not have a way to fix it. That is another issue, but it’s not necessarily the technology, but our reliance on SaaS.

Another tangential issue is that most recent improvements have been minor. The ecosystem is vibrant, but what’s getting put out just seems stale. Today’s news is the same stuff as yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same, just with a new coat of paint.

When The Storm Comes

When the storm comes, do not flee, instead row forth out to sea, past the breakers, further than what once the eye had seen.

You shall be running, not from, but directly toward the beast within. Fear not your fate, ’tis for you to bend and not to break in the gale and tide.

Bearing the brunt of the tempest, charging forth against the waves, a beating they may give but it is for you to take.

And once you have challenged the beast, you will be met in the face with either glory or failure. With either you shall carry a shroud of serenity.

Serenity of knowing. Knowing that you had headed in the other direction of ordinary men. You challenged fate itself.