It is a lack of fulfillment, both metaphorically and in actuality. It is the knowing that something should be done, how it could be done, but stressing out over how it will be done. It is the ever present NEVER.
Never. Never. Nev…
With many starts, there also comes many endings. And while all things eventually end, there is a period in the middle that can be seen as an end, temporarily. That middle, however, doesn’t contain the finality of an ending. It could, but it often doesn’t. An end: Must be declared. Must be defined. Must include some sense of finality.
To not have those, you have many threads. These threads are silent, until ruffled. They are known, but not seen. They are ready to be wove together, to be knotted. The knot is the end, but…
Without a solid process, with an ending. One that can be declared complete. There will be no final solution, though there may be a solution along the way.
Fighting against an end, is natural. It is nostalgia. It is delusion. There has to be a process that demands a sacrifice of resistance. Fighting the end is futile. Fighting the resistance to the end is key.
A well defined process removes friction. It makes the end have definition. It bears the path to follow. Thought can consume a process as process removes thought.
Destroying the Habit
Forget what you know. Remember what you know. Fight. Fight for your freedom. Freedom from yourself. Freedom from your habits.
Your freedom depends on the destruction. The destruction depends on how well you fight. Your tools are the ability to think and the ability to act.
Think of a process. Act on the process. Repeat the process. Think. Act. Repeat. Process. Process.
Finality in the process.