It is only out of ignorance that people are cruel, because they really don’t think it will come back. ~ Maya Angelou

This quote, is extremely fitting to this tale. Recently, I saw an indirect, independent action that could be seen as a return of karmic justice, not because I was particularly cruel, but because I was ignorant at a prior time. For many of Friendfeed’s more active English speakers, they may remember the racial slur topic, which cost the service some of it’s best intellectuals. Sadly, I must say that I was one of the “very few” people who kept stoking the fire, long past the point of which it should have been ash; I stoked that fire, and the results of the blaze is some people were singed, but a few were charred.

Do I have regrets for being involved? Absolutely.
Do I think I had reason for being involved? To a point, but I stepped far past what that was.
Was I cognizant of all the rammifications as I made my decisions? No, and I will admit many of those remarks were made in defense, though an unreightous defense, to what  I though were attacks to  my and others credibility.

One thing that I did not completely understand, though I thought I did, was the power of words. I bore that if they were used in good fun and jest, that they shouldn’t have such intensity, the ability to cause pain. Well all that changed last weekend, when I felt attacked directly, by words that I was likely not to see, but happened upon them anyways.

These words may not have been directed upon me, but they were forged from an intense hatred, and were likely set off by something I said haphazardly and in a way mocking my own ignorance. These words not only included that of hatred, but those of compassion, which seemed very cold and insincere when they were breached, and sarcastic thoughts of violence. I can now say that I was, or at least feel as though I was, on the recieving end of a racial hate crime, even if it was only words, from thousands of miles away.

I can also say that to say that you understand, to say that you have compassion, after supporting or standing up for any form of bigotry, even if it was only words spoke in jest, will be called into question. You should not fight when this question is raised, because you, too, are part of the problem. You will stand along side me; you will wait until that suffering returns, to show you its effects. We all need to remember that there is a line, but we must also realize that what lies on either side is the same.

Sadly, it is with this that I have also chosen to step away from friends, all of whom I’ve shared great moments with, and who will share great moments without me. I may stop to observe how they are doing, but my interaction, has caused quite huge losses, not just for myself, but for them as well. I feel now it is better for me to resign, as a member of FF, of course I still reserve a position to be involved with the argumenting about domo’s and the “fat kid.”

I can now focus on what I love, but I don’t know what that is. I’ve been through many phases and experiences over the last 5 years. In high-school, I focused on drafting(architectural & mechanical), engineering fundamentals, basic number theory, and economic theory. For my short period of college, I focused on philosophy, biology, and computer science. Since then, I’ve focused on systems, business, and customer service areas. Through out, I’ve done simple design work for friends.

My problem is I now get to choose where I want to go and I have rubbed such broad stokes of things that I enjoy that doing that is hard. Luckily, I have three things going for me, my age, knowing the areas I enjoy, and having a very simple set of needs.

To give up one dream, I am opening myself up to the many others that lie before me. I’m re-writing my life from this point, with a new perspective, and a new passion. This is a path less taken, I’m choosing to give up to move forward and find a happier medium, a happier me.

I became complacent with what I had and what I was achieving, I became too comfortable for my own good, and that is an issue. I read those words right after I found out about my job and you know what, it actually tells me I stayed well past the point I should have left. It’s my fault for not realizing it sooner, it would have been better for both sides, but I there is no reason for me to even attempt to change the decisions I made, it’s too late.

When you see death occur around you, it hits you that maybe you need to change, but it still doesn’t hit hard enough most of the time. This year has been rough with all the deaths I’ve had to deal with, but dealing with those didn’t effect me as much as one would think. You realize death happens, and even if you know it can happen to anyone at anytime, you think aren’t part of that group, you aren’t just anyone; stop lying to yourself, you are just another somebody, and the next wave could be the last you remember.

I walked away by mere chance, I do like to think it was partly skill that saved me, but it was a whole lot of luck. I could have easily flipped my car or continued sliding over the bank, or managed to make it to the next turn, and just the next turn, I never would have made it. I got lucky and hit the embankment, which stopped me on solid ground, and I managed to walk out with just a few scrapes. Life is filled with luck and you just have to remember you never have full control of what happens to you, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s excellent, you just have to go with the flow and relax.

The number one way to escape from the pull is to just keep moving, but don’t completely resist or you’ll just exhaust yourself fighting and succumb. You have to move out of sight, change your path to the side instead of up for a little while, look for somewhere that isn’t looking to keep you there. Once you realize that there are other places you can move forward and up from, places where you’re not getting pummeled as hard. I bet you you’ll be happier, luckier, and have a better chance of surviving the outcome, you might take a few lumps along the way but that comes with the territory.

Image by bensonkua

Time is itself immutable, and, yet, it is the essence of all mutability

Last week, I spent time with family after the loss of my cousin. Over the week I spent time with relatives and family friends talking about memories and all the time we have sacrificed without a second thought. One of the conversations was with my aunt, about my relationship to my estranged father and how there isn’t much time left. I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life, but this past week has been a wake up call, I need to get rid of all the hindrances in it that are wasting time.

Time is the stitching that holds billions of scattered, unconnected, snapshots together to create the ever rippling fabric of life.

The single reason for wasting time, accidents and traffic not withstanding, is our throwing mental barriers up to avoid certain situations or people. I noticed this after talking with my aunt about my dad. The only reason I’m estranged from him is because of my half-siblings, his wife, and the way she treats him. I can’t stand them so I avoid them, along with him, unfortunately, I care about him and know all to well the this recent funeral could have easily been his. I’ve seen him maybe two hours in total since New Year ’08 and that’s not enough time to spend with someone you care about, no matter how you feel about them or the people they surround themselves with. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do to repair this situation, but I don’t have much time because noone expects another 5 years out of him.

“Truly successful decision making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.” ~ Malcolm Gladwell

I notice myself being less and less reliable on listening to my instinct and find my self deliberating on things far to much. I think we all need a good kick in the ass to get us to realize we don’t have time to waste analyzing all the data, it just takes to long. We have to learn when we come across a sunk cost and how to keep from wasting anymore time on it. I think I’m just going to stop thinking about stuff.

“Time is like money.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

This is the truth and the fact is that you can spend both rationally, or you can waste them on frivolous affairs. The best form of management with either is to think ahead and budget how you’re going to use them, but always remember to leave a little extra for fun and pleasurable things. The one major difference between the two is that you can always earn more money without spending it, but with time your always spending it and your never going to get more.

The best way to get more out of life is too enjoy the time you have.

That was the realization I had watching Wanted, when Wesley releases the rats into the mill. He provides them with peanut butter, albeit laced with gasoline, in order to have them help in his mission. Several dozen dogs couldn’t have presented him with the return that he received for the hundreds of rats that went out to return his favor. So maybe you should follow his lead and seek the little guys that want you to help them out, not the big guys that you want help from. How do you think they got big, they helped the little guy out, and he let his friends know about it.

Look at how the successful social-networks grew. They all start with a small focused market, Myspace with Musicians, Facebook with College Students, Twitter with texting and the Early Adopter. Each of these small markets had one huge thing in common, they were set in a location where they could expand to the general population, Myspace to fans, Facebook to older Alum and the general public, Twitter to marketers and people looking for an audience. Then they expanded to the mainstream audiences through word of mouth and the necessity for people to have friends on the network to interact with.

They did 3 things and they did them well.

• They decided on a market.
• They expanded their market into a natural evolution of the original Market.
• The focused on the large groups, of small people, to help spread the message, not small groups, of big guys.

Far too many people have the wrong perspective. They seek to become a giant by standing on the shoulders of other giants, rather than building a self sufficient community that helps each other rise up to the sky. I’m going to show you a perspective variation of the King’s Chessboard, a parable in which a king offers a peasant a payment for his services, the peasant simply asks that the king give him double the amount of rice that he gave the day before, until he has covered each square on a chessboard, starting with one grain of rice. The king soon realizes that he can’t honor this payment as it’s too much for the kingdoms granary.

In my variation, I’ll have the king offering 2 different rewards to the peasant, he can receive 1 billion grains of rice each day until each square has been covered, or he can take the option from the original story of 1 grain of rice and have it doubled everyday for each square. Most people would be blinded by the large sum that they are told they will receive each day and wouldn’t quantify the fact they will actually lose a large sum by taking the larger initial choice. In fact, you will receive only ~.0000007% of the total had they chosen the doubling.

So remember, sometimes it’s better to go with the small people and to take time for the little things in life. They will pay off much more in the long term than always trying to do something that involves the major points in of focus. Take your time and if someone needs help don’t be greedy go and help them you never know the power to change your life they might have.

Don’t Save Anything to Go Back

This is probably, the most noticeable in the film as this statement is only slightly paraphrased from the film. The reason not to save anything is because the risk going to prod you along, you will know in the back of your head it’s sink or swim. I don’t recommend going so far as that if you make a mistake you will fail completely, but just far enough to make it hard to accept failure.

Always Look Up

In the film, Vincent stares at the rocket that is his dream multiple times as it is taking off. He was positive that he would be able to find a way to get on it no matter how impossible it seemed. Positivity will lead you towards your dreams, you just have to know where to look, up.

Share Your Success

What’s better than one person being successful and reaching there goals. It’s multiple people assisting each other in achieving their goals. The movie provides a very close relationship between multiple characters as they each find success through assisting each other. Pull someone along for the ride and let them occasionally pull you up also when you slip.

Don’t Let Others Tell You What You Can or Can’t Do

Being born in a time of genetic engineering, Vincent’s parent’s new exactly what was wrong with him from the time he was born. As the movie progresses you can clearly see that he was triumphing over these ailments that were supposed to cripple his potential. He set his own bar and didn’t let what was supposed to happened keep him from going strong. Don’t let other’s inhibit you from doing what you set out to do.

Success Isn’t In Your Genes, It’s In Your Heart

Remember that, you achieve what you want to achieve, and only what you want to achieve. Your life isn’t predetermined by what’s pumping through your veins but what’s pumping through your mind. So what is it that you want from life and who are you taking for the ride?

With me, I failed out of college and used an excuse all year round that could have been an influence, but I know wasn’t. The night before 3 of my final exams the first semester I suffered severe muscle spasms in my upper back and ended up in the E.R., until 2 in the morning, and also had to pack to leave school so I didn’t sleep at all. It’s all true, except I omitted the fact that I had already slipped to the bottom of my classes, or close to it. I went back for the 2nd semester but gave up on everything in the 3rd week after I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to keep my scholarships. This damn thing has been my crutch and I limped around with it just because I could; well now it’s time to change.

If you share an excuse like that with me; I want you to toss the crutch out and be honest with yourself and with others. You can be great, your just going to have to learn to walk again without having a crutch there to keep you from falling down. You can be whatever you want to, but first you must see it, then you must do it. The world is at your fingertips are you going to take it by storm this year. Here’s a quote to keep you going throughout the year.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle

How often can you manage to meet nice people and forge a relationship with them in so short a time? It’s rarely happened to me that it has occurred in the same way as it did in that situation. Normally, if I attempt to help people they get offended or are just genuinely unappreciative of the effort that I put into their happiness and satisfaction. No matter what their response I’m going to feel good for assisting.

I guess the value that I get is a good feeling and occasionally some single-serving friends, even if you didn’t meet them on a plane it’s a great term.

So have your ever assisted somebody and formed a relationship or just felt good about what you had done for them? Leave me some comments on what you think the value of providing assistance would be to both parties. Hope you enjoyed the post.

Physical Filing Objectives that I’ll be working on is finding a way to organize my books and films so that I don’t have to dig through piles to find what I’m looking for; right now, I count 15 stacks of books scattered around my room. I’ll be going through and organizing all my bank and credit statements, balancing everything out of course.

Virtual Filing Objectives that I’ll be working on are setting up a better system for RSS feeds, right now I’m satisfied with the system but, with 3+ hours a day it’s just too much. I’ll be redoing my bookmarking so I can find web pages that I use on a more consistent basis and links from others saved for reading. I’ll be redoing the majority of my computers filing system as it has files scattered in random folders.

With the blog I’m working on a redesign that fits who I am and provides a cleaner interface than the one that your reading this on, even I find it hard to read on. I’m also debating on adding more content that fits the innovation theme. Originally I had planned on this being a more technology focused blog with a few political and philosophically innovative ideas; if you look back that’s not how it turned out.

So for the next few weeks I’ll be doing some introspection, try and clear my mind, and get set to roll out some better content in ’09. This is mainly for my benefit but hopefully it results in some positive effects for you also. I think I may continue this process every year if it turns out something that is effective. This idea of redeveloping your internal and external systems is something that everyone should try to force change on themselves.

Seeping Through is going to be slower than the other two ways to get through the path, but it will be more reserved and rational. This is a reasonable choice if you fear an abrupt change that would destroy the majority of progress that you made. You can still manage to get past the  wall, though you may be surpassed by others in the Overflow or Breakthrough categories.

Overflowing the Boundaries will be the most level of these ideas as it has an adequate pace and will fill the other side of the dam quite rapidly. This is for those who don’t mind risking a bit of their assets if something were to happen. You can outpace those that are just trying to Seep Through to gain ground and, also have a more consistent pace than that of someone who is trying to Breakthrough. This is the way to go if you want to be able to more reliably adapt and still move quickly.

Breakthrough is going to be the quickest once it happens, but the pace will be hard to maintain, without prior planning. You can destroy the barrier and quickly decimate your competition in the short-term, however, if you didn’t plan properly a change can ruin you just as quickly. If you pass the first dam and hit another down the line, you may not have enough pressure to cause it to buckle. Breaking through will not be for everyone, except for a few people who have it together, most people should try to just Overflow the boundaries or slowly Seep through.

If you were a stone you will sit at the bottom for ever and never find a path through to the otherside of  the dam. You may never know what lie on the other side and be just as happy and complacent for ever, slowly being wittled down by those that flowed past you. You do not want to be a stone do you? Most of all, be yourself and find a way to adapt to the change, pass  through the barriers and achieve your goals.