Category Archives: Philosophy

The Thought Of Success Is Wonderful

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Humans are self and group inhibitors in general, primarily the former. We all have fears and worries, that force us into reactionary tactics for survival, but often times, the fears are fiction, induced by over-thinking, or someone promoting them. Reactions, aren’t precise and are rarely efficient, they are emotional decisions made in angst, we shouldn’t trust it in most cases. I think this is why so many people fail, they allow fears to get in their way.

A child’s innocence and sense of wonder make them marvelous. They truly believe anything is possible, they aren’t inhibited by their prior experience. The “empty” mind that is open to being filled, with new experiences, new ideas, but they often lack the experience and skills required to communicate  with the world. If children are able to fight the inhibitions that allows their wonder, can we try to promote it to as a way to encourage success?*

Adults have mostly forgotten how wonderful life is, and think it is beating them down. I can’t count how many people I know who think life is out to get them, because of their bad experiences, with prior failure or contempt at others success. Many suspend their wonder, in order to fight others ability to succeed, they feel that injustices were served to them, because a disease, their financial situation, employment possibilities, etc. I’m not saying any of that is necessarily wrong, but what is wrong, is complaining about what you can’t do, instead of  looking at what you can do, in an uninhibited manner.

Your dreams don’t have to die, because of something that has happened to you. e.g. Randy Pausch – Experience Zero G like an Astronaut. Randy Pausch author of, “The Last Lecture.” He realized early on that he couldn’t be an Astronaut, because he wore glasses, so he changed his goal. All Randy really wanted to experience was Zero G, so he set out in life with the goal of one day going on, “The Vomit Commit,” which is an aircraft used for simulating Zero G. He changed his goal, to fit what he could do, and I believe too many people give up, based on their general disadvantages, and never look at what they could do, regardless, to get close.**

Open your mind, your eyes, your heart, and fight for your dreams. Find someone to help, I know not everyone has someone to help, but it never hurts to ask. There are plenty of enablers out there, just show them that you’re passionate. If there is one thing I’ve seen lately is that there has been talk about how to get a mentor to assist you, in achieving your goals, and there has been one point in these articles that sticks out.

“I’m not going to  spend my time helping you, unless you prove that you’re willing to put the time in yourself, and show me what you’ve done. You have to show that you’re willing to go it alone, but would like help.”

So what are your dreams? Write down 5 things you’d like to do in the next 5 years, and/or 5 things you want to do before you die.

*= One of the things that occurs to me, about STEM(Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math), is that they are very rigid in general, and our school system doesn’t try to break from the rigidity. What that rigidity does, is when a child doesn’t get something, he is penalized by bad grades, but this enforces fear and contempt, or it is overly repetitive and the child loses his sense of wonder. We should work on filling these areas with wonder and flexibility.

**= Actually, while skimming the book to find the story on this, I noticed this article is very reminiscent of the later chapters, on Dreaming Big.

I Can’t Say I Can’t, But I Could If…

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With the beginning of a new year, I plan on taking several realizations and things I discovered momentarily, last year, and try to make them permanent. The first is to stop saying, “I/it can’t…,” with the exception of when used in conjunction with, “… but I could if.” The second is, “third-person introspective.”

Some time in September or October, I had an epiphany of how harmful, “I can’t,” is; it allows for excuses to be provided so easily. It allows you to just shuck your responsibility, without fully thinking through the problem, or trying to find another way around the problem. My solution is to only allow myself to say the phrase, “I/It can’t X, but I/it could if x.” It is a simple method, that can be used recursively, to find the starting point, if you can’t do x, then substitute it for X and start again. Ultimately, I feel that it is a great way of breaking a problem down, and avoiding excuses.

Third-person introspective, now this idea is a little less approachable, but personally more fun. I allow myself to escape, and critique myself on all of the actions I make as though I had someone following me around, looking over my shoulder. I tried this for about a week, and while it’s odd at first, it has some pretty interesting results,  you self-inhibit as though you weren’t alone, even if you are. The one issue that I had with it is that you have to be able to maintain two-levels of consciousness simultaneously, which can be difficult, particularly when you’re tired. I assume once one becomes adjusted to it, the second consciousness could become controlled subconsciously.

I’m hoping that implementing both of these, along with my recent purging of  stuff that was weighing on my mind will help me be more active, and engaged in the now. I still have a couple more things to get out of there, but for the most part, I’ve put everything I want behind me, and I’m starting to truly move forward for the first time in two or three years. Hope your year is going to be as wonderful as mine.

7 Tips To Remember During Human Interaction

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We’ve all been had human interaction where we feel that we aren’t getting our point across. It is one of the most annoying feelings to feel you’re not being heard, or skipped over for no particular reason.  Here are a few tips that I use, on a daily basis, to have deep, meaningful, human interactions.

1. Listen First, Speak Later
If you aren’t listening to them, you have no clue where the conversation is going. If you don’t know where the conversation is headed, you don’t have a clue what you should say. You should hold your words back and carefully sculpt them to what is being said, that way you give credence to what the person is saying, even if you don’t agree with them.

2. Be Happy, Be Calm
You should never get upset in a conversation, because you will become short-sighted. If you become short-sighted you end up risking killing the conversation, or even worse destroying the relationship you have with the person. One thing I do, when I do get aggravated, is I pause the conversation. On the internet, I take a stroll through the house, before going back. In real-time interactions, such as over the phone or in person, I ask them to excuse me, to do something important or use the restroom.

3. Be Responsible
With great power, comes great responsibility. In a world that treasures the passing of knowledge, you wield the greatest power of all, your words. You should take try your best in making sure that what you say is accurate, and not offensive. If you do misspeak make sure that you remedy it, which leads to the next point.

4. Apologize Quickly
An apology might not right every wrong, but it shows that you understand you made a mistake. It is not an excuse to try to get people off your back, if you use it this way, you’re not being sincere. To truly apologize, you first have to state that you are sorry, then show proof that you understand why you wrong.

5. Be Accepting
Always be willing to accept someone’s ideas, even those you might not agree with. Being open to new ideas only leads to a more open and intellectually satisfying discussion. Acceptance is the first step in understanding something new.

6. Be Understanding
Once you have accepted external views, your next task is to step into the person’s shoes, as best you can, and attempt to understand what they are saying. Understanding what someone says makes you much more inviting to converse with, even if after understanding you point out where they have erred, which hopefully is reciprocated.

7. Offer Help
If someone is having a problem, that you can possibly help with, offer your assistance. In offering assistance, you have very little to lose, and much to gain, a new best friend, possibly. I’ve been through this cycle many times, and have made some very good friends by helping them when they needed it.

Here are a few bonus  tips for interacting in the physical world.

Smile
The best way to lighten the mood is to smile, you let everyone know that you enjoy their company. A smile is also a very attractive thing that can make you, and your ideas more appealing. This is the same as an apology, however, and if you aren’t sincere it’s not hard to figure it out, though it might take a bit longer with a smile.

Eye Contact
Eye contact is a great way to show that you are engaged with what the person has to say, and that you aren’t just shrugging off what they say. A few tips on eye contact, don’t stare, and occasionally break contact, for 1-2 seconds, to observe your surroundings.

How To Overcome Crushing Blows

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The past few months have been like a riptide for me, every time I pop back above the surface I’m further out, and getting pushed right back under. I’ve lost friends, I’ve somehow managed to walk away from death, and I’ve lost my job. The thing is in life those things matter, but they happened in the past, they will effect how I act in the future, but I shouldn’t have to wait for these to occur to figure out I needed to change.
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The Preciousness Of Time

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*Rough post and unlikely to be modified do to the time, and realizing I don’t have the answer. This is a set of recent realizations, some personal, in their rough form, take of it what you will.

Time is itself immutable, and, yet, it is the essence of all mutability

Last week, I spent time with family after the loss of my cousin. Over the week I spent time with relatives and family friends talking about memories and all the time we have sacrificed without a second thought. One of the conversations was with my aunt, about my relationship to my estranged father and how there isn’t much time left. I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life, but this past week has been a wake up call, I need to get rid of all the hindrances in it that are wasting time.

Time is the stitching that holds billions of scattered, unconnected, snapshots together to create the ever rippling fabric of life.

The single reason for wasting time, accidents and traffic not withstanding, is our throwing mental barriers up to avoid certain situations or people. I noticed this after talking with my aunt about my dad. The only reason I’m estranged from him is because of my half-siblings, his wife, and the way she treats him. I can’t stand them so I avoid them, along with him, unfortunately, I care about him and know all to well the this recent funeral could have easily been his. I’ve seen him maybe two hours in total since New Year ’08 and that’s not enough time to spend with someone you care about, no matter how you feel about them or the people they surround themselves with. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do to repair this situation, but I don’t have much time because noone expects another 5 years out of him.

“Truly successful decision making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.” ~ Malcolm Gladwell

I notice myself being less and less reliable on listening to my instinct and find my self deliberating on things far to much. I think we all need a good kick in the ass to get us to realize we don’t have time to waste analyzing all the data, it just takes to long. We have to learn when we come across a sunk cost and how to keep from wasting anymore time on it. I think I’m just going to stop thinking about stuff.

“Time is like money.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

This is the truth and the fact is that you can spend both rationally, or you can waste them on frivolous affairs. The best form of management with either is to think ahead and budget how you’re going to use them, but always remember to leave a little extra for fun and pleasurable things. The one major difference between the two is that you can always earn more money without spending it, but with time your always spending it and your never going to get more.

The best way to get more out of life is too enjoy the time you have.