1. Listen First, Speak Later
If you aren’t listening to them, you have no clue where the conversation is going. If you don’t know where the conversation is headed, you don’t have a clue what you should say. You should hold your words back and carefully sculpt them to what is being said, that way you give credence to what the person is saying, even if you don’t agree with them.

2. Be Happy, Be Calm
You should never get upset in a conversation, because you will become short-sighted. If you become short-sighted you end up risking killing the conversation, or even worse destroying the relationship you have with the person. One thing I do, when I do get aggravated, is I pause the conversation. On the internet, I take a stroll through the house, before going back. In real-time interactions, such as over the phone or in person, I ask them to excuse me, to do something important or use the restroom.

3. Be Responsible
With great power, comes great responsibility. In a world that treasures the passing of knowledge, you wield the greatest power of all, your words. You should take try your best in making sure that what you say is accurate, and not offensive. If you do misspeak make sure that you remedy it, which leads to the next point.

4. Apologize Quickly
An apology might not right every wrong, but it shows that you understand you made a mistake. It is not an excuse to try to get people off your back, if you use it this way, you’re not being sincere. To truly apologize, you first have to state that you are sorry, then show proof that you understand why you wrong.

5. Be Accepting
Always be willing to accept someone’s ideas, even those you might not agree with. Being open to new ideas only leads to a more open and intellectually satisfying discussion. Acceptance is the first step in understanding something new.

6. Be Understanding
Once you have accepted external views, your next task is to step into the person’s shoes, as best you can, and attempt to understand what they are saying. Understanding what someone says makes you much more inviting to converse with, even if after understanding you point out where they have erred, which hopefully is reciprocated.

7. Offer Help
If someone is having a problem, that you can possibly help with, offer your assistance. In offering assistance, you have very little to lose, and much to gain, a new best friend, possibly. I’ve been through this cycle many times, and have made some very good friends by helping them when they needed it.

Here are a few bonus  tips for interacting in the physical world.

Smile
The best way to lighten the mood is to smile, you let everyone know that you enjoy their company. A smile is also a very attractive thing that can make you, and your ideas more appealing. This is the same as an apology, however, and if you aren’t sincere it’s not hard to figure it out, though it might take a bit longer with a smile.

Eye Contact
Eye contact is a great way to show that you are engaged with what the person has to say, and that you aren’t just shrugging off what they say. A few tips on eye contact, don’t stare, and occasionally break contact, for 1-2 seconds, to observe your surroundings.

I became complacent with what I had and what I was achieving, I became too comfortable for my own good, and that is an issue. I read those words right after I found out about my job and you know what, it actually tells me I stayed well past the point I should have left. It’s my fault for not realizing it sooner, it would have been better for both sides, but I there is no reason for me to even attempt to change the decisions I made, it’s too late.

When you see death occur around you, it hits you that maybe you need to change, but it still doesn’t hit hard enough most of the time. This year has been rough with all the deaths I’ve had to deal with, but dealing with those didn’t effect me as much as one would think. You realize death happens, and even if you know it can happen to anyone at anytime, you think aren’t part of that group, you aren’t just anyone; stop lying to yourself, you are just another somebody, and the next wave could be the last you remember.

I walked away by mere chance, I do like to think it was partly skill that saved me, but it was a whole lot of luck. I could have easily flipped my car or continued sliding over the bank, or managed to make it to the next turn, and just the next turn, I never would have made it. I got lucky and hit the embankment, which stopped me on solid ground, and I managed to walk out with just a few scrapes. Life is filled with luck and you just have to remember you never have full control of what happens to you, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s excellent, you just have to go with the flow and relax.

The number one way to escape from the pull is to just keep moving, but don’t completely resist or you’ll just exhaust yourself fighting and succumb. You have to move out of sight, change your path to the side instead of up for a little while, look for somewhere that isn’t looking to keep you there. Once you realize that there are other places you can move forward and up from, places where you’re not getting pummeled as hard. I bet you you’ll be happier, luckier, and have a better chance of surviving the outcome, you might take a few lumps along the way but that comes with the territory.

Image by bensonkua

Time is itself immutable, and, yet, it is the essence of all mutability

Last week, I spent time with family after the loss of my cousin. Over the week I spent time with relatives and family friends talking about memories and all the time we have sacrificed without a second thought. One of the conversations was with my aunt, about my relationship to my estranged father and how there isn’t much time left. I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life, but this past week has been a wake up call, I need to get rid of all the hindrances in it that are wasting time.

Time is the stitching that holds billions of scattered, unconnected, snapshots together to create the ever rippling fabric of life.

The single reason for wasting time, accidents and traffic not withstanding, is our throwing mental barriers up to avoid certain situations or people. I noticed this after talking with my aunt about my dad. The only reason I’m estranged from him is because of my half-siblings, his wife, and the way she treats him. I can’t stand them so I avoid them, along with him, unfortunately, I care about him and know all to well the this recent funeral could have easily been his. I’ve seen him maybe two hours in total since New Year ’08 and that’s not enough time to spend with someone you care about, no matter how you feel about them or the people they surround themselves with. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do to repair this situation, but I don’t have much time because noone expects another 5 years out of him.

“Truly successful decision making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.” ~ Malcolm Gladwell

I notice myself being less and less reliable on listening to my instinct and find my self deliberating on things far to much. I think we all need a good kick in the ass to get us to realize we don’t have time to waste analyzing all the data, it just takes to long. We have to learn when we come across a sunk cost and how to keep from wasting anymore time on it. I think I’m just going to stop thinking about stuff.

“Time is like money.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

This is the truth and the fact is that you can spend both rationally, or you can waste them on frivolous affairs. The best form of management with either is to think ahead and budget how you’re going to use them, but always remember to leave a little extra for fun and pleasurable things. The one major difference between the two is that you can always earn more money without spending it, but with time your always spending it and your never going to get more.

The best way to get more out of life is too enjoy the time you have.

“Our life is frittered away by detail … simplify, simplify.’ ~ Henry David Thoreau
“The value of an idea lies in the using of it.” ~ Thomas Edison
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” ~ Vincent van Gogh
“A true friend sees the good in everything, and brings out the best in the worst of things.” ~ Sasha Azevedo
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” ~ Buddha
“It just seems natural. You and me against the world.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk
“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.” ~ Cicero
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” ~ W. M. Lewis
“All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.” ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox
“The mind is like the stomach. It’s not how much you put into it, but how much it digests.” ~ Albert Jay Nock
“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” ~ Steve Jobs
“Thought makes the whole dignity of man; therefore endeavor to think well, that is the only morality.” ~ Blaise Pascal
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.” ~ Douglas Adams
“Having wonderful people in your life is the ONLY oxygen we need” ~Gary Vaynerchuk
“I know what I have given you. I do not know what you have received” ~ Antonio Porchia
“Don’t walk in front of me I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” ~ Albert Camus
“All of life is a risk; in fact we’re not going to get out alive. Casualness leads to casualties. Communication is the ability to affect other people with words.” ~ Jim Rohn
“The law of love could be best understood and learned through little children” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
“Economy is half the battle of life. It is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well.” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon
“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” ~ Tennessee Williams

That was the realization I had watching Wanted, when Wesley releases the rats into the mill. He provides them with peanut butter, albeit laced with gasoline, in order to have them help in his mission. Several dozen dogs couldn’t have presented him with the return that he received for the hundreds of rats that went out to return his favor. So maybe you should follow his lead and seek the little guys that want you to help them out, not the big guys that you want help from. How do you think they got big, they helped the little guy out, and he let his friends know about it.

Look at how the successful social-networks grew. They all start with a small focused market, Myspace with Musicians, Facebook with College Students, Twitter with texting and the Early Adopter. Each of these small markets had one huge thing in common, they were set in a location where they could expand to the general population, Myspace to fans, Facebook to older Alum and the general public, Twitter to marketers and people looking for an audience. Then they expanded to the mainstream audiences through word of mouth and the necessity for people to have friends on the network to interact with.

They did 3 things and they did them well.

• They decided on a market.
• They expanded their market into a natural evolution of the original Market.
• The focused on the large groups, of small people, to help spread the message, not small groups, of big guys.

Far too many people have the wrong perspective. They seek to become a giant by standing on the shoulders of other giants, rather than building a self sufficient community that helps each other rise up to the sky. I’m going to show you a perspective variation of the King’s Chessboard, a parable in which a king offers a peasant a payment for his services, the peasant simply asks that the king give him double the amount of rice that he gave the day before, until he has covered each square on a chessboard, starting with one grain of rice. The king soon realizes that he can’t honor this payment as it’s too much for the kingdoms granary.

In my variation, I’ll have the king offering 2 different rewards to the peasant, he can receive 1 billion grains of rice each day until each square has been covered, or he can take the option from the original story of 1 grain of rice and have it doubled everyday for each square. Most people would be blinded by the large sum that they are told they will receive each day and wouldn’t quantify the fact they will actually lose a large sum by taking the larger initial choice. In fact, you will receive only ~.0000007% of the total had they chosen the doubling.

So remember, sometimes it’s better to go with the small people and to take time for the little things in life. They will pay off much more in the long term than always trying to do something that involves the major points in of focus. Take your time and if someone needs help don’t be greedy go and help them you never know the power to change your life they might have.

“You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.” ~ Irish Proverb

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” ~ Bertrand Russell

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” ~ Mark Twain

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” ~ Victor Borge

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” ~ Jim Ryuh

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~ Anne Frank

“Stay far from timid, only make moves when your hearts in it, and live the phrase sky’s the limit.” ~ Biggie

“The only true gift is a portion of yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.” ~ Paul Harvey

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” ~ Judy Garland

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent into the dark place where it leads.” ~ Erica Jong

“Don’t seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.” ~ Basho

“The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction to carry on.” ~Walter Lippmann

“Remember you are just an extra in everyone else’s play.” ~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.” ~ Washington Irving

“You must take action now that will move you toward your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life.” ~ Les Brown

“The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.” ~ William Stekel

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” ~ Mark Twain

“Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.” ~ C. S. Lewis

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu

“Kindness is the oil that smoothen the friction of life.” ~ Anonymous

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” ~ Jane Austen

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.” ~Winston Churchill

“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” ~ Woodrow Wilson

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” ~ Seneca

“From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” ~ Arthur Ashe

“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.” ~ Malcolm Forbes

“You can get through life with bad manners, but it’s easier with good manners.” ~ Lillian Gish

“A good laugh is good for both the mental and physical digestion.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity” ~ Tom Petters

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” ~ Albert Einstien

“Whenever you have truth it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected” ~ Mahatma Ghandi

“It is usually the imagination that is wounded first, rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.” ~ Thoreau

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~ Anonymous

“Work banishes those three great evils, boredom, vice, and poverty.” ~ Voltaire

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~The Dalai Lama

“In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.” ~ Paul Harvey

“Personal participation is the universal principle of knowing.” ~ Michael Polanyi

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”~Scott Adams

“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.” ~ Sam Levenson.

“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” ~Aesop

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When death, the great reconciler, has come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity.” ~ George Eliot

“It’s hard for many people to believe that there are extraordinary things inside themselves, as well as others, keep an open mind.” ~ Myself

“The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.” ~ Bertrand Russell

“The only way that we can keep advancing is by not becoming complacent with what we have achieved and strive for more.” ~ Myself

“Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.” ~ Eric Hoffer

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” ~ Voltaire

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~ Unknown

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

“Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.” ~ Ernest Holmes

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” ~ Albert Einstein

“He who learns but does not think, is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.” ~ Confucius

“The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity.” ~ Walt Whitman

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“A good laugh is good for both the mental and physical digestion.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.” ~ John Foster Dulles

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” ~ Edward Thorndike

“Everything we do seeds the future. No action is an empty one.” ~ Joan Chittister

“If you aren’t going all the way; why go at all?” ~ Joe Namath

“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.” ~ Robert Maynard Hutchins

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” ~ Buddha

“There is nothing so confining as the prisons of our own perceptions.” ~ William Shakespeare, King Lear

“Education for creativity is nothing short of education for living.” ~ Eric Fromm

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Once we know our weaknesses they cease to do us any harm.” ~ George C. Lichtenberg

“Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.” ~ Elizabeth Lawrence

“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

“Grant me the courage not to give up, even though I think it’s hopeless.” ~ Admiral Chester W. Nimitz

“Too much consistency is as bad for the mind as for the body.” ~ Aldous Huxley

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”~ Leo Tolstoy

“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.” ~ Cicero

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?” ~ Albert Einstein

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” – Chinese proverb

“There is no education like adversity.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

“You can be aggressive and self serving or you can be aware of those who need help and lend a hand.” ~ Adam Shepard

“Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.” ~ Thomas Edison

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

“An unshared life is not living. He who shares does not lessen, but greatens, his life.” ~ Rabbi Stephen S. Wise

“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.” ~ Marge Piercy

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” ~ Niels Bohr

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” ~ Samuel Johnson

“The main fuel to speed the world’s progress is our stock of knowledge, and the brake is our lack of imagination.” ~ Julian Simon

Don’t Save Anything to Go Back

This is probably, the most noticeable in the film as this statement is only slightly paraphrased from the film. The reason not to save anything is because the risk going to prod you along, you will know in the back of your head it’s sink or swim. I don’t recommend going so far as that if you make a mistake you will fail completely, but just far enough to make it hard to accept failure.

Always Look Up

In the film, Vincent stares at the rocket that is his dream multiple times as it is taking off. He was positive that he would be able to find a way to get on it no matter how impossible it seemed. Positivity will lead you towards your dreams, you just have to know where to look, up.

Share Your Success

What’s better than one person being successful and reaching there goals. It’s multiple people assisting each other in achieving their goals. The movie provides a very close relationship between multiple characters as they each find success through assisting each other. Pull someone along for the ride and let them occasionally pull you up also when you slip.

Don’t Let Others Tell You What You Can or Can’t Do

Being born in a time of genetic engineering, Vincent’s parent’s new exactly what was wrong with him from the time he was born. As the movie progresses you can clearly see that he was triumphing over these ailments that were supposed to cripple his potential. He set his own bar and didn’t let what was supposed to happened keep him from going strong. Don’t let other’s inhibit you from doing what you set out to do.

Success Isn’t In Your Genes, It’s In Your Heart

Remember that, you achieve what you want to achieve, and only what you want to achieve. Your life isn’t predetermined by what’s pumping through your veins but what’s pumping through your mind. So what is it that you want from life and who are you taking for the ride?

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” ~Charles Darwin

Not a quote it’s a 15 minute film called “Validation” highly reccomended for a lift.

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” ~ Peter Drucker

“A mere whisper among the winds of change, can cause the greatest of societies to crumble and others to rise from the ashes.”

“The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that’s the essence of inhumanity.” ~ George Benard Shaw

“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~ Buddha

“We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything.” ~ Blaise Pascal

“The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.” ~ Buddha

“Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher.” ~ Buddha

“Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” ~ John F. Kennedy

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?” ~Clarence, the Angel “It’s a Wonderful Life”

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill… is to have the real spirit of Christmas.”

“Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.”

“Who speaks to the instincts speaks to the deepest in mankind, and finds the readiest response.” ~ Amos Bronson Alcott

“Are you a human being having a spiritual experience, or a spiritual being having a human experience?” ~ Wayne Dyer

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” ~ A. Einstein

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” ~ Muhammad Ali

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle

“The best way you can predict your future is to create it.” ~ Stephen Covey

“Look beneath the surface; let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.” ~ Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” ~ Herman Melville

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for what ever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.” ~ Hora Edwards

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” ~ T. S. Eliot

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” ~ James Allen

“If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.” ~ Rollo May

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet.” ~ Unknown